Being assertive is a perquisite and vital skills can elevate your relationships, amplify your communication and improve your confidence .Assertiveness compromises expressing your thoughts, feelings and desires in a transparent, straight and respectful way . Assertiveness plays a big part in the communication whereby making easy for the people to understand your impressions including what you hate and like hence supports to set strong boundaries among the friends and people. Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view. It can also assist you do this while respecting the rights and beliefs of others. Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others’ respect. This can aid with stress management. It may especially help you reduce stress if you tend to take on too many responsibilities because you have a hard time saying no. Below are some effective strategies to help you become a more assertive person.
- Understand assertiveness
Before you can be assertive, it is essential to comprehend what it actually means. Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive to defend a right point of view or a relevant statement. An assertive person advocates for himself or herself while respecting others. Some people have problem of expressing their feelings transparently due to fear of assuming that truth can hurt others, hence they end up being docile and passive unable to manifest their true feelings, which sometimes leads to reconcile their way of thinking and hold back in displaying their emotions . If your style is passive or nonassertive, you may seem to be shy or overly easygoing. You may routinely say things such as “I’ll just go with whatever the group decides.” You tend to avoid conflict. Why is that a problem? Because the message you are sending is that your thoughts and feelings are not as important as those of other people are. In essence, when you are too passive, you allow others to ignore your wants and needs. In fact, passive people have issue to assert themselves and mostly they end up agreeing with others due to lack of clarity by saying always yes which creates internal conflict because of the passive behavior which leads to stress ,resentment doubting, or questing your own thought and feeling of victimization.
Assertive vs aggressive communication
Assertiveness and aggression may seem similar on the surface — they are both a way to protect yourself when a situation threatens your sense of comfort or safety. However, assertiveness is a healthy response to stress, while aggressiveness is often a damaging on
- Knowing your rights
To be assertive as person you must recognize and accept your rights as person. While clearly understanding having right to manifest your thoughts and feelings confidently without offending others .most of the people misinterpret assertiveness with aggressiveness. Assertiveness can help to set healthy bounders, protect your rights and being able to say no without feeling guilty. Part of the assertiveness include not fearing to make mistake because if you give second thought what you willing say it is possible to hesitate and unable to reveal your thought at the right time .be courageous ,ask what you need ,say what you want to say besides learn from the mistakes . Understanding your rights can empower you to stand up for yourself.
3. Practice Clear Communication
The cornerstone of assertiveness is clear communication. Here are a few suggestions for communicating clearly: • Use “I” Statements: When you are sharing your feelings and opinions, use “I” statements to frame what you say, (such as “I feel…” or “I would like…”).”I” statements allow you to say what you mean, while not appearing to pass judgment. • Be Direct: When you are communicating your needs and thoughts, it is best to be clear and concise and use specific language rather than vague language that could easily be misconstrued. • Maintain Eye Contact: Eye contact is another way to show confidence and to connect to the person you are discussing something.
4. Listen Actively
Being assertive includes not only communication, but also listening. You can be an active listener by • Giving the speaker your full attention when they are speaking to you. • Using verbal affirmations, such as “I see,” or using nods to indicate you understand. • Asking questions for clarification about things you do not understand.
5. Manage Your Emotions.
Emotions are another aspect of assertiveness that is important to be aware. Here are some ways to manage your emotions: • Identify Triggers: Be aware of those situations that may cause you to feel anxious and/or frustrated. If you are aware of these situations, it may help you prepare and respond to them in an assertive manner. • Stay Calm: Be aware of ways in which you can remain calm, such as deep breathing or counting to ten before responding. Being calm will help you think clearly and articulate what you want to say.
6. Set boundaries
Being assertive means having personal boundaries. Let others know what you will and will not accept. Here is how to set boundaries effectively: • be clear about Your Limits: You should not hesitate to state your limits. For example, “I can’t work late this week, but I’m available next week.”• Stick to Your Boundaries: Once you set boundaries, be consistent with them. This strengthens your assertiveness and helps others understand your limits.
7. Practice self- confidence
Building self-esteem greatly improves your assertiveness. The following might help you become more confident: -Acknowledge Your Achievements: Celebrate your successes, no matter how small. When you think about your achievements, you feel better about yourself. • Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Change the negative voice in your head to a positive voice. You have the right to think your mind and say so.
8. Practice role-play
Practice role-play scenarios if you wish to be more assertive. Ask a friend or family member you trust to role-play different situations when you need to be assertive. This practice can help you feel more ready and confident.
9. Seek feedback.
seeking feedback is not bad idea to be ashamed of when engaged in assertive communication, gain feedback and response from trusted person .this can give insight into your communication style and assist you identify you areas for improvement for instances additions and subtractions in your communication methods this will support in the future to gain courage and identify your weakness.
Final thought
You need to practice to become an assertive person and be more aware of yourself. The ability to become more assertive comes with improved self-esteem, better relationships, and boosted communication skills. Take small steps and remember that this is a journey that takes time. With time, you will find that being assertive benefits you and those around you. Being assertiveness is usually viewed as healthier communication style and keeps from people taking advantage of you here are several advantages including gaining sense of empowerment earn respect from others, improve decision kiang skills and create win-win situations.